Welcome Home, Sis! Come On In & Stay for a While.

My floors haven’t been cleaned in weeks; and by weeks I mean months.

Add toilets, add film around bathroom tubs.
Oh, hello laundry pilled high, nice to see you again.

Drying off dishes and bodies with shirts, because the towels are in the wash for the third time. In a row.

There are children screaming something urgent, yet I can’t make it out, and haven’t the desire to try. Little faces, 3 feet below me,  looking up with bewildered frustration. They pull, they tug, all “Where are you mom?” 

Mama has checked out.

What do you do when you’re burnt out on motherhood, and its unending life of service and sacrifice. When the laundry of fatigue piles so high you can’t even make it through the stack before another is added. When you start the day with the words “I’m done” before your feet hit solid ground. When its 6:40pm and hubby’s 10 mins late feels like 10 hours.

What do you do when you start losing yourself under the numb familiar?

Keys jingle. The front door opens. Children scurry to greet the him, the Sane one. I retreat. I crash on the bed, pulling sheets over my head like a canopy. It feels safe here, under this blanket place void of light and sound.

I should get some rest.

But instead of resting, instead of plugging in to the Source of peace, I plug into something else.

Bright white mobile light shining in weary eyes; I soak in these one inch squares of perfection. Scrolling through photos, unending.

Then the whispers start…

Look at her, pursuing her dreams, getting that degree, yes! #Congrats

Maybe one day I will get finish mine…maybe not.  Scroll

Pre-baby weight already! Good for her! #Goals

Ugh…I haven’t worked out in…months. If only I can lose these 15lbs from 2 years ago.  Scroll

Oh wow, she’s pretty! #Follow

I wish I looked like that when I woke up. Scroll

Ahh, new Hunter rainboots… #Loveit

I’ve been wanting those forever. Scroll

I’m so tired. I should probably get off. Scroll.

Just a few more minutes. Scroll

Oh look! Girls night! They look cute! #Like

Wonder why I wasn’t invited. Scroll.

Wow! Mini-vaca in Santa Barbara this weekend! #Like

I wish we could afford a vacation, things are sooo tight. Scroll

STOP THE SCROLLING!

Sometimes, we scroll to escape, scroll to avoid, scroll to numb.

But, the more we scroll, the more a part of soul slips into a pit of mangled distraction and lies.

We believe the lie. “Just a few more minutes and surely rest will come.”  Yet, it never ever does. We leave feeling weary, empty, and alone. It’s a false sense of refuge that never bring peace. It never satisfies.

It’s a distraction; Set up to steal our joy, our worth, our value, our contentment, and our gratitude. Causing us to condemn, compete, and compare.

With fingers swift like feet, we try to run far away. But, the only thing we are running further away from the only One who can actually give true refuge.

So, what do you do when you start losing yourself under the numb familiar?

We stop scrolling. In fact, we resist the temptation to start.

Instead, we breathe in deep. We exhale. Give ourselves permission to check out, instead of in, and allow the presence of the Lord to be bring us the peace we so desperately need.

VERSES

Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Matt 11:28

Written by

Tania is the founder and editor of Inkfully. She is a wife and stay at home mom of three beautiful children. Outside of these two awesome roles, there is nothing that brings her more joy than encouraging and reminding others that they aren't alone. Even if that means exposing her past, or making herself the expense of your good laugh. You can find her perusing playgrounds with her hubby & toddlers or writing in coffee shops around Seattle, WA.

Latest comments
  • This is sooo good and true! I found myself here a couple weeks ago. Only during my time in my secret place did I rediscover praise and in that, the reality that I am so blessed!!

    • inkfully

      YES! ASHLEY! SO EASY TO GET CAUGHT IN THIS CYCLE, WE ALL DO…BUT YOUR POINT IS 100% TRUE, THAT TIME AWAY AND ALONE, RECONNECTING WITH THE LORD IS WHERE WE FIND TRUTH, AND ARE REMINDED OF HOW BLESSED WE ARE! LOVE IT!

  • loved this!!

    • inkfully

      Thanks for reading Tamra!

  • Absolutely love this.

  • oh I love this post! I can totally relate . You’re right. It’s so easy to slip into the false lie of comfort through our screens but only our walk with god will fIll us up. Thank you for This beautiful and honest offering!

    • inkfully

      Thanks Emelda! So glad you were able to relate. Its so easy to fall into the trap! Lord help us! Lol 🙂

Any thoughts? Leave em' here!